An Angel's Anguish

I am an angel.

But my dark, black wings

outgrow those white, gilded feathers.

They keep on flipping,

they want to soar high and 

bring me

to the heights of demonic elation.

Sometimes I give in

I fly with them.

but

Most of the time not.

Because the fear within me

keeps on echoing-

What if I'm at that height of bliss

then in a single snap of Great Fingers

I will fall down...

Deep

to the abyss of depravity?

My halo shines bright.

It gives light to people around me.

It is awesomely fascinating.

But others say,

My mentality engulfs it.

My arrogance outshines it.

It is now fanciful and

flickering.

It emits dark rays.

Fading.

My golden heart always throbs

to do good.

It keeps on pushing me to surpass evil.

Yes.

I do good.

But sometimes good intentions

aren't always enough

for blinded eyes and

closed minds of

conceited people.

This golden heart

is now an alloy

of love and hate

of bitterness and guilt

of anxiety and ambiguity.

How hard it will be

if it becomes

a rough- edged stone?

My presence is supposed to bring joy.

I should call people together but

I divide them.

Do I really go overboard?

Do I cross a thin line

that create two sides?

Or

there is already an existing wall?

Little did they know

I just outlined it for them.

I constantly break that wall but

wicked people create another wall

from debris and rubble

and

they call it

my aftermath...

Everyone has its dark side.

We all know that.

But being good is

the golden rule in life.

So we keep those skeletons

inside our closets.

We keep them tightly locked 

in our Pandora's boxes.

Skeletons are lifeless.

They will not break out unless

a strong- willed evil will unlock

the den

from the outside.

I am an angel...

I am white.

I am bright.

I am stronger than my skeletons.

I just become dark and gruesome

because of evil people around.

So I will pick up those rotting bones and

lay them in my Pandora's box.

That box belongs to the earth

but

the key will be on heaven's keepsake.

Because heaven

protects

its angel...